A first Valentine's Day
by FutureCam
Summary: For PitFTW/Golfer's valentines Day contest Reckoning spin-off. Altair, with a new girlfriend in the form of Samus and learning about Valentine's day 2 days before, is dragged along by Captain Falcon, Snake and Dante in an attempt to get her a decent gift.
1. Chapter 1

A first Valentine's Day

FutureCam

A/N:

Me: *Taps four-beat drum rhythm on table* My name is the master...This gas...There is no human race, only the Master race...(many more Random Master quote from Doctor Who later...)

Altair: Hey, what's up with FC?  
Ike: He watched the Doctor Who season finale. It may have broken his mind...

Dante: Yeah, he said something along the lines of 'Epicness overload' and even started quoting The Master...

Ike: Should I bring him back to the real world?  
Altair: Agreed. We're not meant to be here anyway.

Ike: Okay, get ready to run like hell. AETHER!  
ME: What the HELL was that for?!

Dante: *Waves truce flag* Just do the authors notes! Please!  
Me: Fine, Fine.

A/N, for real this time:  
*leafs through contest rules* Okay...not sure if characters from other franchises count as OC's or not, but I'm going to put them up anyway. Not to mention the fact that Altair is now so OOC due to developments in Reckoning that I don't need to put 'I don't own Assassins Creed' in the disclaimers anymore...

Altair Desmentes Millethant (Fictional last name. Can't spell his real one:P)

Age: 34

Male

Series: Assassins Creed

Description: Tall, thin, pale, gray eyes, short black hair, fast, dangerous (Exceedingly), wears white robes tied with a red sash.

Relationship: Samus (Romantic), Captain Falcon (Roommate, Best Friend), Snake (Roommate), Link;Zelda;Ike (Coworkers type people)

Personality: Serious, tendency to be awkward around subjects he isn't used to.

Dante Sparda

Age: 60. Looks around 30

Male

Series: Devil May Cry

Description: Tall, well-built, blue eyes, white hair, superhuman strength and speed (Half-demon), Red overcoat over black tank top and jeans.

Relationship: Nero (Offscreen, Uncle), Link/Zelda (Co-Conspirators), Altair (Something Approaching friendship...)

Personality: Joker, never serious, complete and utter flirt  
*********

This has got to be one of the longest author's notes I have ever written. This story is kinda sub-fanon for the Reckoning series, and fits in at around chapters 14-15 in SSB:Reckoning. Just clearing that out for you all.

Must...stop...rambling...start...story...

***********

Chapter one: St. Who's day?

Snake looked up from his copy of 'Guns & Ammo' as Altair slammed the door to their room behind him, eyes wide.

"Hey Al. What's up?"

"Don't call me that" Altair replied instantly. There was a brief pause, before Snake rolled his eyes and repeated his question.

"What's up?"  
"The world outside this room has gone MAD, Snake!" Altair said, horror-stricken "The walls are covered in pink...and hearts...and...and oh god, there's statues of little flying children with harps and bows..."  
Snake couldn't help it. He fell off the bed laughing.  
"Hah...your face...you're actually SCARED by all of that? You, the person who pretty much faced an entire Templar army by yourself and WON?" He chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye.  
"It's insane, Snake! Seriously, what's going on!"

Snake shook his head in disbelief.  
"Calm down, it's just St. Valentine's Day."

Altair gave his a look.

"St. Who's day?"  
Now Snake looked at Altair in horror. "Let me get this straight...you don't know what St Valentine's day is."  
"Correct"  
"You are currently romantically involved with the most dangerous woman in the mansion, Samus Aran."

"Yes..."  
"And you haven't gotten a gift yet."  
"Why would I get one?"  
Snake looked his roommate in the eye.

"Let me put it this way: You have to get one in the next forty-eight hours, or your girlfriend will be pissed. And we've all seen what Samus can do when she's pissed."  
There was a brief pause while Altair took all of this information in, slowly.

"...Crap." He muttered after a while.  
"Exactly." Snake replied "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a practice match with Dante scheduled."  
Snake got up and left the room, leaving Altair standing in the middle of it with a shocked expression on his face.

***********

*Five minutes later...*

Snake staggered out of the SimPod, shivering.

"Five seconds..." He muttered "Five seconds..."  
"Great match!" Dante grinned, sticking out his hand "You've improved a lot!"  
"Five...Seconds..."  
"Uh, Snake?" Dante asked, waving a hand in front of his face. "Ah, crap, you're in shock. C'mon, let's get you to Mewtwo." He muttered, dragging Snake behind him. "Why can't I have one match against someone other than Nero and souped-up-on-god-power Altair?"

"Because you're broken!" A voice yelled from the banisters above the arena. Dante sighed, pulled out one of his pistols, and let out a few rounds without looking. He was rewarded with a cry of pain and Ganondorf yelling "MY KNEECAP! MY POOR GERUDO KNEECAP! I NEED THAT TO WALK!"  
"Still got it.." Dante smirked, heading off with a now-unconscious Snake slung over his shoulder.  
****************************

Altair walked back and forth in his dorm.

"Think, think think...okay. Got it." He muttered "There are only four other couples that I know of here: Red and Ruby, Link and Zelda, Mario and Peach, and then Nero and Kyrie." He went through his mental checklist, erasing those he couldn't rely on.

"Nero and Kyrie went back to their world for a few days, whilst Red and Ruby are...well, their teenagers. Not really reliable." He paused. "Why do I get the feeling that somewhere, there are several Authors mad at me?"

A loud explosion echoed in the distance, moments before Master Hand's voice came over the intercom. "No-one panic, it was just the Fourth wall being broken.", which was soon followed by Link yelling "I WON THE BET! Pay up, Marth, I TOLD you we wouldn't break it again for another three years!"

"Well that was random" Altair continued, sighing "Anyway, that leaves Peach or Zelda to ask for advice. Due to my wanting to keep my sanity, I think I'll go ask Zelda for some help."  
Mind now set on this course of action, he marched out of the room, heading for Zelda's.

*************

"Target sighted" Dante muttered, moving towards Altair "Preparing Devil Trigger...Hey Altair!" This last part was yelled into the Assassin's ear. Instead of the desired effect of him being startled and Dante getting a laugh, all he heard was a random word in Arabic, before he received a punch to the jaw, two palms slapping his temples and a kick to the abdomen in quick succssion.

"What...did...I...do?" He gasped, clutching his stomach.

"Sorry. Reflexes." Altair apologized. "What do you want?"

"Why, Snake told me about your little problem, and I'm going to help, of course!" Dante smirked "So, let's get cracking – oh, wait a second, we have our third co-conspirator to come first..."  
"Who?"  
"Captain Falcon" Dante said with a shrug. Altair said the one thing that came to mind.

"This is NOT going to end well..."

**************

A/N: I figured it was going to be easier (And more likely for me to remember to update it) If I did it in a three-chapter format instead of a one shot like my original plan.


	2. Chapter 2

A first Valentine's day

FutureCam

Chapter two: Why me?

A/N: Took me a while, sorry about that. I found my old copy of Final Fantasy 5 advance and started replaying it. Not really an excuse, but it burnt up my time anyway.

NEW CHARACTERS:

Trish

Age: 50 (Looks 20 due to Demonic origins)

Female

Series: Devil may Cry

Description: A female demon (assumes human form) who works with Dante. Blond hair, Tall, thin, Tank top, knee-high boots, Shorts.

Relationships: Dante (Co-worker/Love interest), Nero (Co-worker), Kyrie (Friend)

Personality: Trigger-happy, confident.

Nero

Age: 29

Male

Series: Devil may Cry

Description: A younger Dante with a glowing, demonic right arm.

Relationship: Dante: (Nephew), Kyrie (Romantic)

Personality: Sarcastic, Trigger happy

Kyrie

Age: 25

Female

Series: Devil may Cry

Description: Petite, brown hair, blue eyes, white robes.

Personality: Calm, serious, caring.

***************

Altair, Captain Falcon and Dante stood outside Peach's door.

"There has GOT to be a better way to learn about it than this, guys" Altair said desperately "Any other way, ANYONE else, I don't think I could stand being in the same room as her for-"  
"Hi!" Peach said with that eternal smile  
"القرف (Sh*t)" Altair muttered under his breath in Arabic.

"Hey Peach, Altair here doesn't know the slightest thing about St. Valentines day." Captain Falcon said, grinning "D'you think you could teach him?"  
"Sure! That'll be SWEET!"  
Their deaths shall be painful and slow once I get out of this, Altair told himself.

"He also needs a gift for Samus." Dante added in.

"Aw...SWEET!"

"أنا أكره لكم كثيرا... (I hate you all so much)" Altair muttered.

"C'mon in Ally! I just finished cooking, too."  
"(A/N – I am NEVER writing what he says to Dante and Captain Falcon in ANY language, Ever. Use your imagination.)" Altair cursed frequently at Dante and CF, before Peach managed to drag him inside.

"I don't know what that means, and I don't think I want to either." CF said, after Altair got dragged into Peach's room.

"I did, and trust me, you don't want to know." Dante muttered, turning around. "Come on, Nero gets back today."  
********

A few hours later, Altair staggered out of Peach's room.

"My head..." He muttered. "I am NEVER asking her for help again. Period."  
"You've only just realized?" A voice said, smirking, from behind him.

"Hey, Samus." Altair smiled. "How was your day?"  
"I completely thrashed Wolf. You should have SEEN it!" She said "My GOD, the Ice Climbers are harder than him sometimes..."  
"So you're in the next round of the tournament?"  
"Yep." She said with a smile. "Oh, also, Crazy Hand's made a list of the songs that various people are going to sing for the couples to dance to tomorrow. It's in the Cafeteria."  
"Okay...Wait, What? CRAZY hand?"  
"Yep."  
"Excuse me." He muttered, dashing towards the Cafeteria.

********

Dante stood outside the portal, smirking. "How was the trip, kid?"  
Nero ripped the sling that covered his Devil Bringer off and threw it into a bin. "Great, if it hadn't been for that. I hate covering this thing up." He muttered, flexing his demonic arm.

"Oh, calm down, it's that or get chased by the police" Kyrie huffed, shaking her head.

"Oh, and, uh, Unc? We brought someone here to see you."  
"You did? Who...oh, you BASTARD!" Dante cried out in shock, realizing that only one person EVER visited him.

"DANTE!" A sharp feminine voice yelled out.

"Uh...hi, Trish..." He muttered, shifting around, "how was your..."

*Click*

Dante suddenly found himself staring down the barrel of one of Trish's pistols.

"...trip to whereveritwaspleasedon'tshoot!"

"Why. The hell. did you leave." She said, strangely calm.

"Look, whoever wins this tournament gets a hell of a lot of money, and-"  
"When we came back, the town was FLOODING with demons, Dante. WE WERE ONLY GOING AWAY FOR A WEEK!"

"I don't suppose 'Sorry' quite cuts it, huh?"  
"Right you are" Trish said darkly, before kicking him across the room.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while." Nero muttered "I'm gonna go get something to eat."

*****

"You know" Link said, staring at the list. "There is Crazy, and then there is Evil. And this is just plain evil. As much as I love Zelda, I am NOT singing that to her."  
"I agree completely." Ike muttered. "I am NOT singing that to Mia. I don't even like her that way!"  
"Denial." Snake, Marth, Roy and Link said at the same time.

"Shut up."

"You know, this is too evil, even for Crazy on a bad day. I wonder who...Ganon, you BASTARD!"

"Is there a problem?" Altair asked, entering the room.

"One that shall be quickly solved by me murdering that Gerudo Git." Link said, drawing his sword and storming towards the door. Altair walked past him to look at the list, and his eyes narrowed as he read it.

"Didn't you make a Resolution not to kill him while you're both inside the mansion?" Marth asked Link. The Hylian stopped in his tracks.

"Yeah...but I never agreed that I wouldn't do _this_." He growled. He marched up to Altair, and put his sword away. "I would like to hire you for an assassination, good sir."  
"Oh no, this one is free. I _insist_." Altair said, calmly. His eyes flashed gold.

"Oh, bugger, he's going Legendary..." Snake muttered, backing away from his roommate.

"If you'll excuse me..." Altair growled, drawing his saber. He looked at it for a moment, and it gradually began to morph into his Phoenix Saber.

"Is that really necessary?" Roy said "I mean, you can probably kill Ganon without it."

"What do you mean, kill me?" Ganondorf asked, limping in while holding his kneecap. He was met by Altair's hidden blade pointing at his eyeball.

"Hand over the real list, or die. Your choice." He said, in an attempt to stay calm.

"Here you go" Ganondorf said in a small voice, passing over a sheet of paper to Ike.

"Thank you. And Link, you know that technically as long as you don't kill him, you can still maim him?"  
"Thanks for pointing that out." Link said, drawing his sword.

As Altair left the room, he smirked a little as the entire mansion heard Ganondorf's screams of:  
"I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I-AAARGH! THAT DOESN'T GO THERE! ISN'T THAT SUPPOSED TO BE INSIDE ME?!? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MAKE YOU ALL HATE ME SO MUCH!"

...and so on.

************

Nero walked down the hall, a ridiculously happy grin on his face.

"She said yes, she said yes, she said yes!" He sang as he moved down towards the end of the hall.

"Hey, Nero." Altair said, moving in next to him.

"Hey, Altair. What's up?"

"I need to find Samus a decent present...and the only advice I've gotten is from PEACH!"

"...ouch."

"Tell me about it. Anyway, how was your trip?"

"Gods, it was awesome!" Nero grinned "Admittedly, I had to put up with the wrath of Lady and Trish for a few moments, but they left me off the hook when they realized Kyrie was back."

"Lucky you." Altair muttered "That can't be all your happy about, though."

Nero shrugged. "Nothing much else happened. Other than the fact that I'm gonna be a married man in a few months, but..."

Altair started coughing.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, congratulations and all that. But that's NOT MUCH?"

"Sarcasm, Altair. Ever heard of it."

"Not had much need for it in a cult of assassins, so no, not really."

"Sheesh, point taken." Nero said defensively. "Anyway, I can probably give you some advice..."

Altair looked at him, before heaving a sigh.

"Alright, fine, it has to be better then Peach's..."

A few moments later, Nero had finished outlining his plan. Altair stared at him.

"...That's actually pretty good." He said, astonished. "When did you become such a sap?"

"Kyrie must be rubbing off on me" Nero said with a shrug.

"True enough, I suppose."

"Shut it, Eagle."

"...You know what my name means?"

"Yeah, I looked it up when I got back home." Nero said "Thought it might come in handy."

"Whatever...If you'll excuse me, I need to go see Link."

"Sure. See ya, Eagle." Nero said with a smile, running down the hall and out of the main doors, into the gardens. "She said yes, she said yes, she said yes..."

*********

Link looked up from his equipment as Altair entered.

"Hey, Altair."

"Link, I need a favor"

"I owe you one, anyway. Thanks for pointing out that loophole in my Resolution, by the way."

"Your welcome." Altair said, smugly. "Now, you used to help a blacksmith, right?"

"Of course! You must want me to help you make something. What is it?"  
"Well..."

Altair and Link sat at the table until eleven PM, talking, designing and building.

"Here. You'll have to do the inscriptions yourself, I can't write Arabic." Link said, passing the wrapped parcel across to Altair.

"Thank you."

"No problem. Now, get some rest. Tomorrow's the big day..."

"Yeah, I know. We are doomed."

"Hah. That's normally Falcon's line."

****Meanwhile...***

At a poker table in the middle of the Mansion's diner, Captain Falcon looked up, an angry look on his face.

"Someone just stole my line!"  
"Ah, grow up you pathetic little toad." Dante said, walking in "I am SO glad that I can regenerate..."

"What the crap happened to you?" Snake asked, bewildered.

"A run in with my illogical female co-worker, who is also a Demon. It didn't end well..."

"Women." The two others at the table said at the same time. Dante sat down and raised a glass.

"To another year of being bachelors, gentlemen."

"Gladly!"

"Of course!"

******

Altair sank into his bed, and breathed a sigh of relief.

_Tomorrow might actually be enjoyable..._ He chuckled to himself. _If it all goes to plan..._

_I just know I'm gonna regret saying that._

*******

A/N: Again, I am so sorry for making you wait this long. I just realized that I update Jack Crow less often than VG cats. *Sob* So I've also been working on that, along with tidying up the WarpStorm plot details and beginning to plan out War of Legend.

Speaking of which... I need three more heroes to enter the series then. If you get any ideas, send me them and I'll see if I can put them in.

See you next time!

- FutureCam


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Please don't be late please don't be too late please...Stupid Bell internet connection. If anyone lives in Canada, and knows a Bell employee, throw a rock at them for me. This would've been up a dammed 2 DAYS ago if the internet hadn't crashed... (Insert higher deity of your choice here) dammit.

Might as well start.

New Characters:

Lilina (FE6)

Can't write this up...too lazy... just look her up on fireemblem. wikia .com. Save me some time.

Patty (Devil May Cry: The Animated Series)

Just look her up on devilmaycry. wikia .com, it'll be more accurate than my brief description.

***************

VALENTINES DAY - 5AM

Nero and Altair walked into the bar. They stopped and stared.  
"Why am I not surprised?" Altair muttered, looking at the unconscious – and probably drunk – forms in front of him. Nero shook his head.  
"Because we knew this would happen?" He muttered "Come on, help me get them back into their rooms." He scooped up Dante and slung him over his shoulder. "Can you get the ofther two?"  
Altair grunted in reply as he scooped up Captain Falcon and Snake.

"I'll take that as a yes, then."

"This isn't a good start to the day." Altair said flatly, walking out.

"Gotta agree with you on that one, Eagle."  
"Don't call me that."  
***********

A FIRST VALENTINES DAY

By FutureCam

Chapter three: The Day

***********

Altair dropped his roommates onto their beds, and went digging under Snake's. He came back out with a hand grenade, which he put inside one of Snake's boxes after pulling out the pin. The resulting explosion (Which somehow didn't damage the boxes). He had a rather nasty smile on his face when the two got up.

"Ears...ringing...head...hurting..." Captain Falcon moaned as he got up off of his bed.

"Same...here..." Snake muttered "You...bastard...Altair..."  
"Whatever." The assassin smirked "Just stay here. I'll come back and get you when the day's out." He went and grabbed the gift that he'd made with Link the day before, and headed towards the door. "Don't do anything stupid. That means you, Falcon."  
Before Falcon could even begin to retort, the door swung closed behind Altair.

"I hate that guy sometimes." He muttered, kicking his bedpost.

"He isn't wrong." Snake growled in reply, shoving his way into the bathroom.

"What's that supposed to mean?"  
*******

Ike was awoken by Roy's violent shaking of him.

"What?" He muttered, rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong?"  
"You have to help me, man!" Roy said, panicking "Please! Anything! Just don't let her-"  
At that point, the door smashed down revealing a rather pissed-off Mia clutching her Vague Katti.

"ROY!"  
"Oh, Elimine protect me.." The lord muttered, as he leaned against the wall.

"Roy, what did you do?" Ike asked, warily reaching for Ragnell.  
"I'll tell you what he did, boss." Mia said acidly "He burned up one of my training swords!"  
Roy gulped. Ike winced.

"Roy, I'm afraid I'm going to have to let her kill you." He said, getting up and gathering his sword and shirt. As soon as Mia realized he was shirtless, she diverted her attention to the shuddering Roy in an attempt to avoid drooling.  
"Thanks, boss." Mia said sweetly, before her voice returned to the acidic state. "Now where were we?"  
As Ike left the room, the only thing he heard was Roy's whimper of "Oh dear god, why?"

******

_Okay, Link. Deep breaths. Nothing bad can possibly happen like it did last year._ Link told himself as he nervously walked down the corridors. _That was just random. I mean, what were the chances of Ilia, Saria and Ruto all showing up at the exact same damn time? On Valentines day! The last time I tried to do this. Ah, well. At least this time Altair owes me a favor and can kill them all if they show up again._ He finished his trail of thought with a mental shrug.

******

"Helloeveryone!"  
All of the smashers present in the cafeteria when Crazy made his grand entrance (Smashing through the ceiling and landing on top of Wolf) stared at him.

"!" He continued as Wolf got dragged away by Fox and Falco.  
"Wait...guests?" Roy tentatively asked as he dragged himself inside. "What do you mean by-"  
"ROOOOOOOOOY!" A blue-haired girl proceeded to glomp the injured lord.

"My...spine..." He managed to gasp. "Why is it always the...spine?"

"I feel your pain." Young Link said as he watched Roy attempt to untangle himself from the girl. "Except imagine it being Ruto that glomps you."  
The room shuddered.  
"Didn't need that image, bro" Toon Link said as he attempted to hit his counterpart.

"Whatever." Young Link snorted.

Most of the attention was distracted when the girl helped Roy up, pointed a staff at him and murmered something along the lines of 'Mend'. Roy's injuries slowly vanished.

"Thanks, Lilina." Roy muttered as he sat down again.  
"You're welcome." She said sweetly, sitting next too him. "What happened to you?"  
"Ike's psycho-ass girlfriend." As soon as he finished that sentence, Ike and Mia somehow yelled out 'We're not together!' through multiple walls.

"How did they even hear that?" Zelda wondered.

Kyrie shrugged. "I don't know." She asked. "By the way, has anyone seen Shiida or Marth recently?"  
"No..." Pretty much everyone said, before Altair cut in with a "Yes. The two of them went out on Shiida's Pegasus about an hour ago."

"That's so romantic!" Peach squealed. Altair, still scarred from yesterday, quickly moved to the other side of the room.

"Can you do me a favor, and just not talk for a day?" Dante grumbled as he walked into the room. "And please tell me that Trish already left."  
"No. No, I haven't." The demon in question snarled dangerously.

"Oh, come on." Dante moaned. "Haven't you punished me enough yet?"  
"Nope." Trish said with a grin. "Which is why I told Mrs Lowell that you'd be happy to look after Patty for the day."  
"...You magnificent bitch." Dante said in disbelief.

"DADDY!" A small blond girl rammed into his legs, hugging him. The entire room stared at the Devil Hunter for a minute, before bursting into laughter.

"Shut up." Dante growled "I only fostered her until they found her real mother again."  
At that moment, Nero walked in.  
"What...the...hell?" He asked, dumbfounded. Dante sighed.

"Patty, this is Nero. Nero, this is your foster cousin Patty."  
"...you fostered a child. You, Dante, fostered a child."  
"Yes. Yes, I did."  
Nero stared at him in disbelief.

"What?" Dante asked, raising his hands in the air. "Is it really that hard to believe?"  
"Yes, actually." Altair smirked. Dante flipped him off, to which Altair responded with a throwing knife that pinned Dante's sleeve to the wall.  
"...god dammit." Dante muttered, yanking his sleeve back out.

***********

_Three hours later..._12:00 AM

"Why do I have to wear this?" Altair groaned as he shrugged into his tuxedo "I mean, seriously, what the hell?"  
"Why? Is it not like a dress?" Falcon asked the assassin.

"First off, they are ROBES. Secondly, this thing limits my maneuverability a ridiculous amount." Altair complained "Thirdly, the Hidden Blade has to go OVER the shirt, which kind of defeats the purpose..."  
"You've made your point, shut up." Snake muttered. And you want to know why we have to wear these? Because Captain Fagton over here decided that a dance would be better than singing."  
"Well, it is!" Falcon objected.

"That's not the point. Now, we have to dress up!" As he was saying this, Snake yanked something out of the box beneath his bed.

"What's that?"  
"My ticket out of here" Snake grinned "Ladies, meet the Cypher 3. This guy is my ticket outta here!"  
"Wait, what?" Altair asked, before Snake jumped out of the window and the Cypher 3 activated.

"Is it just me, or was that thing Jet-powered?" Falcon asked slowly.  
"Yes. Yes, it was." Altair said slowly. Then it hit them.

"THE BASTARD ABANDONED US!"

*******

In Samus' room, Kyrie and Zelda were...helping.

"I don't see why I have to – ow, watch were that needle's going – have to dress up" Samus complained "I never have before, why should I start!"

"Because Altair's going to be there, and also it's either us or Peach." Zelda said pointedly. Samus didn't have a comeback to that.

"You're going to look great!" Patty said, smiling. The young girl had quickly become liked among the girls in the mansion, and Samus still wondered how on earth she put up with Dante. When she asked, Patty just laughed.

"There's a lot you don't know about him. For one, he's in love with Tri-" She clamped her hand over her mouth in shock.

"What was that?" Samus said, sensing potential blackmail.

"I told him I wouldn't talk about it." Patty said quickly. She smiled. "Let's get a move on, it'll take forever at this rate."  
The girls decided to let it drop.  
******

Altair, Nero, Dante and Link waited at the stairs below the chambers the girls were using to get ready. Surprisingly, so was Young Link.

"What?" He asked, throwing his hands in the air. "All I did was ask if Patty wanted to go with me-"  
Dante growled dangerously. "Oh, really?"  
"Uh..." A bead of sweat rolled down YL's face. "That came out wrong."  
"Wanna bet?" Dante continued. "I'm keeping my eye on you..."

"Brother, help" YL moaned at Link, who just smirked.

"No. Way." Link said. "I saw how... badly... Snake... got...woah."  
The 'Woah' was due to the fact that Zelda had just come down the stairs.

"...You are quite possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on." Link managed to get out. Zelda smiled.

"You're sweet." She murmured, kissing him. YL made a face. Link punched him. Nero started to laugh, only for a similar reaction to occur for him when Kyrie came down the steps.

"...You look nice." He managed to get out. Kyrie laughed.

"I don't usually have this effect on you." She teased "Have I somehow found the weakness of a demon?"  
"Oh, no, just mine. A demon's weakness has always been one thing." Nero admitted, taking Kyrie's hand.

"Oh? What?" Altair asked, in case he needed the information for future reference.

"Point. Blank. Annihilation."  
"That'd work." Altair admitted. Kyrie called back over her shoulder.

"Altair? Don't drool."  
"Don't-? Why would I-" Altair's eyes widened as Samus came down the steps. "Oh. Wow."

The usually spartan bounty huntress was now wearing one of Zelda's old ruby-red dresses, refitted for her. The fabric clung to every inch of her body, not unlike her zero suit. Altair saw what Kyrie had meant when she said 'don't drool'.

"I think he likes it!" Patty giggled, stepping out from behind her. Samus gave a slight smile in her direction, and went to join Altair.

"Well?"  
"Make a judgment from this face." Altair muttered, before setting his face in a suitable expression of shock and awe. Samus laughed, taking his arm. The two walked out, leaving Dante, YL and Patty. YL gulped as Patty dragged him out, laughing, while Dante pointed two fingers at his eyes, and then at YL. While he did this, his hand was resting on the butt of a pistol. The meaning was clear: _Break her heart, I break you. _

********

_Three hours later..._

Altair guided Samus off of the dance floor. The two instead moved into a corner and watched the rest.

"Do you see the look that Dante's giving YL?" Altair laughed. "It looks like he's going to kill him!"  
Samus smirked in agreement. "Yeah."

Over there, the two in question succesfully managed to get out of Dante's line of sight for a few moments, causing Young Link to sigh in relief.  
"Your dad's scary" He muttered, causing Patty to laugh.  
"Only to people he doesn't like." She smiled. "Which is okay, though. 'Cause I like you."  
Before YL's brain could register what she'd just said, Patty kissed him on the cheek and ran off, laughing. Young Link just stood there until Link gave him a hint.

"You're meant to chase her." He hissed. YL blinked and ran after her. Zelda laughed and hugged closer to Link's chest. Roy and Lilina moved past them.

"So...how's Lycia?" Roy asked. Lilina shrugged.

"Good as it can be. T\he dukes still aren't happy that you left for another tournament." Lilina said with a smile. "They thought I went to get you back."  
"Come on. If I spent one more year as nothing but a politician, I'd go insane." Roy muttered. Lilina laughed at him, and the two moved on past an embracing Nero and Kyrie.

It was at that point that Captain Falcon and Dante managed to shove Mia and Ike together.

"20 credits says it works this time." Captain Falcon hissed. Dante smirked. "You're on"  
The two mercenaries just danced for a while, and then separated. Didn't stop them from blushing the whole time, though. Captain Falcon handed over 20 credits to Dante.

"How hard can it possibly be to match those two up?" He muttered, glaring at them.  
"Exceedingly." Dante smirked. "Ah, well. Want to help make Ganondorf's life a living hell?"  
"Gladly."  
The two partners in crime stepped out to find the unfortunate Gerudo.

****

Altair and Samus stepped outside into the night air. Samus relaxed and looked at the sky. Altair looked up too.

"I've always wondered what else was out there" He said, suddenly. "The only thing I could do in what spare time I had with the Assassins was stargaze. And...I always wondered."  
Samus smiled at him. "Come with me. After the tournament. We can see the stars together."  
Altair smiled. "I'd like that."  
He breathed slowly. Now or never, he thought.

"I'd like to give you something. Close your eyes."  
Samus did so. She felt a slight pressure on her right arm, but kept her eyes closed.

"You can open them now."  
Samus did so, and gasped a little. On her arm was a gold-and-silver arm bracer, along with an amethyst ring on her index finger. Flexing it, she jumped back in surprise as a hidden blade jumped out of the gauntlet, an Arabic inscription reading حبنا سندات الأبدية on it.

"The inscription reads one thing- Our love-bonds eternal." Altair told her. Samus smiled at him.

"It's beautiful." She whispered. "Thank you."  
As the two melded in for a kiss, one thought went through Altair's head.

_Valentine's day isn't such a bad thing after all, then._

_**********_

A/N: OH GOD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG THAT TOOK TO WRITE! Anyway, the story's complete. I'm posting this at half past five on valentine's day itself. I'm exhausted, but the Internet only just came back. Seriously, if you know someone who works for Bell Internet Canada, cause them a physical injury for me. Anyway, tell me if you like the new chapter layout and whether or not I should bring Lilina and Patty back again in a later story of mine.

Signing out.

- FutureCam.


End file.
